2910 East Morgan Evansville, IN  47711 (812) 474-1704

I know that you have all heard the phrase –

when one door closes –

how does it end? …….

When one door closes another opens wide.

This phrase is the title of a song that I heard a few weeks back – it had a catchy tune and has stayed in my mind.

I imagine that some of you believe in this philosophy. That you may have encouraged your self or others who are facing a difficult moment by using this very phrase.

Sometimes it looks like that with hindsight.

If you talked to David Granholm about the job he used to have – the one that brought him to Evansville and then watched his face as he told you about the job he has now – you would probably think that – Yes indeed – when the door to his corporate job closed – another door opened wide for him.

Maybe.

The idea that when one door closes another one opens is a philosophy espoused by Quakers among others.

They have a saying “ way will open”.

One young man, Parker Palmer(1) tells the story of going to a Quaker retreat center to try and discover his vocation. He had a PhD, had taught in college and worked as a community organizer but wanted to find a vocation that would help him find a deeper congruence between his inner and outer world.

After a few months he still had no idea what direction to head. And so he sought out an elder Quaker woman known for her wisdom and he told her his story. “Ruth”, he said,” people keep telling me way will open. Well, I sit in silence and I pray and I wait for an answer – but way is not opening. I still don’t have the foggiest idea of what I am supposed to do with my life – way is just not opening.”

Her reply was a model of plainspeak. “Well,” she said, “I am a birthright friend and in sixty plus years of living – way has never opened for me.”  When she paused he began to sink into despair – he wondered if she was telling him that the Quaker’s concept of God’s guidance was a hoax?

And then she spoke again, and this time with a grin – “But a lot of way has closed behind me and that has had the same guiding effect.”

I thought about that phrase again Thursday night after I had seen the film “Murderball”. It is the story of a US quad rugby team. It is a story about a conflict between two teams US and Canada and the buildup to their match at the Para Olympic games in Greece.

But it is more than a fast-paced summer film about a rough and tumble sport. It is a story about people. A story about the men who were chosen to be on this team. I learned to look at what is like to be a quadriplegic from their eyes. It wasn’t sappy; it was real. As one reviewer said, “It was funny, sad, frank, sexy, tender and bone-jarring.”

One player was paralyzed due to polio another had lost his arms below the elbows and legs below the knees from a childhood disease.

And another character, Mark, a former high school soccer star had gone out and gotten drunk when in his teens and then fallen asleep in the bed of his best friends pick-up truck outside the bar. His friend, Chris did not know Mark was in the truck when he started up the truck and when Chris, also drunk, had an accident and crashed the truck on the way home he never knew that Mark had been thrown out and injured his spinal cord.

They were a diverse group of people, in personality, style, and physical abilities. They were however all more than survivors. They were thriving.  They were living the life they wanted. It was about people who had succeeded in life. People who had suffered a devastating injury and then went on to live fulfilling and productive lives.

For so many people doors do close and they cannot see a new one open because they are focused on the past. They spend their lives trying to open that door and get back to the past where they want to live.

I think for example of the religious ultra conservatives who cannot accept any change but who continually press us to go back in time to some “supposedly better” time.

I think of people as they age who cannot accept the changes in their abilities and stay focused on the past – pining away.

I think of athletes who have aged and whose whole life is lived in the past  - reliving past glories. (folks who end up bitter)

I think of a boss I once had – who would regal anyone who would listen with the story of the great software product he had created – 15 yrs before. We all wished he would spend more time in the present being a good boss.

For all these people there was another way – but they couldn’t see it.

As middle class Americans we have been schooled to believe that we can be anything – we can accomplish anything – we just have to try hard enough.

Some of us have tried very hard – and the marvelous path to happily ever after has not opened up before us.

Some of us have gone through difficult times and have prayed and waited – and our prayers were not answered - or not in the way we hoped.

As I continue to think about this phrase and the life stories I have heard. I want to suggest that most of us are pluggers.

Do any of you read the cartoon pages in the Courier? Maybe you have noticed the one labeled “You know you are a plugger if:

So here’s my plugger version of life:

It’s a picture of a cozy kitchen and on the wall there is one of those cross stitch wall hangings that says “When one door closes another opens wide” and you see a man standing there and as he closes the cabinet door above his head – the door of a lower cabinet flies open and hits him in the shin.

Like it or not - Most of the time – we are pluggers. And our shins have the bruises to prove it.

As I witness people’s lives – I am sad for those who cannot move on when a door closes. Those who get stuck. Those who can’t find the key to open the next door.

And I am continually amazed and awed by the challenges others meet and how they find the wherewithal to face their lives and challenges and not just survive but thrive.

Today, while we sit here, there are women and men walking and running – survivors of breast cancer – at least for this moment – and we have been reading their stories all week – people whose spirits are thriving even if their physical bodies are not. (2)

We live in “can do” America – we practice a religion which for many years taught the humanist idea or human progress – continual improvement – we are imbued with a sense of entitlement – we read stories of happily ever after and think that is how it is supposed to be.

So here is the key: there is no supposed to be for living on this planet. We are for a time living breathing beings having a human experience. Things will happen. We might call them good or bad. We might fight against them – we might embrace them.

We will suffer if we try to open closed doors and get back to the past – we will suffer if we close our eyes and remain in the past – and we will stop suffering when we can let go and live what is.

We are for a time living, breathing beings having a human experience and out of that experience we create a reality we call life.

And here‘s how you can use the key :

when one door closes –

do what you need to do

shake your fist at the sky

stamp your feet

cry

and then put one foot in front of the other and take a step.

The step will open the door.

The song that I can’t get out of my head “when one door closes” was written by Carrie Newcomer. 

She writes:

“When one door closes – another door opens wide

you can’t pray for what you want

you can only offer up your heart and ask that you be led.

life is going to take you where you never thought you’d go.

it is not always wanting what you want it is wanting what you get.”

Mike Zupan, the quad rugby player who flew out of the truck, said that the accident that broke his spine was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

My prayer this morning is that no matter where life takes us – we each find a way to want what we get.

Amen and may it be so.

(1)   Parker Palmer, “Let Your Life Speak”, John Wiley & Sons, 2000.

(2)   Komen Walk for the cure was taking place and local paper had run human interest stories all week.